What's a word that describes being better than average, but less than perfect? It's adequate, right? I would say that I'm an adequate writer, but is it fair to judge and grade myself? How many of you would raise your hand high and say that Vincent Van Gogh was an adequate painter? -Not that your opinion has to be that of the general public's, but stop and think of Starry Night and Sunflowers: two of Van Gogh's most famous pieces and known as awe-inspiring works of art this present day. And if you know anything about the history of Vincent, you'd know that people not only didn't think his work amounted to anything, but they loathed him as a person as well. His art didn't sell while he was alive, and in my own opinion, that must have been so demotivating.
Taking that into account, I've not written in over a year. I believe that I am an adequate writer who doesn't write to please others, but cares about what people think of my writing. I wanted to keep living in the delusion that I could coast through life ignoring popular opinion and being my own person living by my own rules. But if you saw me now with all my possessions and books and ideas, you'd see that all along I was looking to be approved, but by another society all-together. I wrote about love and loss and all the heartaches that I knew well of, and that didn't make a damned difference in the long run. I still saw clichés, and repeats and garbage, and I gave up.
So now I'm starting over. Hopefully for good this time.
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